LIFE CHANGING NARRATIVE ESSAY

“You've changed so much. I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mine's different. My God, you taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens” (ThinkExit.com/quotation).
Sometime ago, a young woman, abundant in spirit, curiosity, and trust, believed anything and everything she was told. She was very trustworthy and honest. She didn’t feel the need to hold back any emotion that she felt. She was very petite, about five foot four inches and one-hundred and ten pounds, light as a feather, but she was very big with passion and love. Everything that she did it was to the fullest nothing was short changed. She had straight, dark brown, shoulder length hair, and her big dark brown eyes were filled with hope and laughter, they were also very deep with wonder and knowledge. Her appearance was very frail; she was rather thin, but so very strong. She was very lady-like, too, and was never more lady-like than when she smiled. It was as beautiful as if it were raining for forty gloomy days and forty unsympathetic nights, and one day it stop. Then the sun just decided to shine and make everything better. Her smile radiated innocence and love.
Her attire was simple. Not that of the expensive name brands that the crowd wore. She didn’t care. She was all for herself and didn’t care what others thought about her she was so confident in every move that she made, she just knew that whatever happened was for the best and that she would always be okay. She grew up in Catholic schools all her life so she had no need to own expensive clothing. Her normal wardrobe consisted of plaid skirts, crisply ironed polos, a tie, knee-highs, and black low heeled dress shoes. She really had never experienced the cold cruel world; she was so sheltered in her everyday routined environment. As if she was a caged feeder rat that was being saved to feed the unappeasable snake.
Due to a situation, she can not to this day explain, resulted in a drastic change in her carefully planned life. For the next few months she suffered greatly, mentally, emotionally, and physically. She could no longer think happy thoughts, she couldn’t get the thoughts of her extinction off of her mind. She no longer felt sane or secure around herself. She no longer had control over her emotions; they spontaneously took control over her feelings about everything. She no longer felt the need to eat or sleep comfortably. She was so disturbed that she even reached a point of no longer wanting to exist. She believed that everyone would be better off without her in their lives she wanted it all to end now she didn’t care how but she cared how fast and how effective, she didn’t want to be saved, in her eyes it was all over, she just couldn’t take it anymore. There was one way she would never consider because she just didn’t have the guts; the incisive blade would slice right through all of her veins. That implied that there would be ruddy liquid all over and she couldn’t bear that. She just couldn’t. But she was still just so mentally sinister that every thought was so morbid. It was so heart wrenching that a once “upon a time” girl was now in the hands of evil and wanted it all to end as quickly as it had started. She had come face to face with evil and she had no where to go but down. To the hellish heavens she didn’t care, as long as it wasn’t here in this body. She had no one to turn to; she was left alone, all alone in the world. Like the deranged unstable kid at recess who knows his spot in the corner, near the animals; pushed there by the other kids, as their snotty-nosed germ filled fun continued, in mockery of the “mental” kid. Her world was so dark, caliginous, dim, dusky, murky, and obscure; you wouldn’t even be able to see a gasoline explosion through the smoke. The darkness and the tension was so murky and wicked. That is exactly how she felt everyday, wicked and diabolical. She became very destructive, she even scribbled “kill” on the walls of her dungeon. Her laugh was destroyed, silenced, her heart never pure ever again. She had been corrupt to a point of no return.
Until the day she ran into a person who had experienced the “darkness” as well. She couldn’t let him become close to her heart because of her new fear of being hurt and going through this all over again. She kept him at a distance never letting him see her true feelings and vulnerabilities. Over the period of a year they remained friends and nothing more. She was tired of being lied to and disappointed by people who only told her what they thought she wanted to hear. But a turn of faith, resulted in a change of attitude in this sullen child. She decided to change her mind and give him a chance at her heart. He seemed to be the only one that understood her and her mischievous ways. He too had been through a great deal of stormy weather when he lost his grandfather. His personality was carefree and didn’t care how others perceived him; he was there to be himself he only cared how she felt, said he was there to provide her with happiness. This peculiar relationship lasted a few months; this freakish bond, of love and hate for the world, between the two perplexed many outsiders who didn’t understand what they saw in each other and how they felt for one another. But the two couldn’t care less because they only saw what the other saw, each other. All was right with the world now to them ever since they both had experienced a slain happiness. They completed one another, they didn’t want to be with anyone else, they experienced an ultimate high, similar to the one you get when you hold your breath under the water thirty more seconds than the last few, from their conversations and touch, their connection was pure and genuine.
Ultimately, after about half-a-dozen months later, things became turbulent, they no longer depended on the other for what they thrived on to live, the wind shifted, and they were dazed and confused. This drift had the scent of rotten milk; it takes a little time but eventually makes you want to gag. This was utterly hard for the both of them because they never thought this day would come. Perplexed he turned his back on her; he gave no consistent reason why. Why have you deceived her? What did she ever do to deserve such cruelty? She was so bewildered she once again became very destructive, vowed to never again let something like this happen again. She couldn’t take it anymore, this was it, and it was final. She would never ever be the same person, it was imperative that she never again give anyone the chance to hurt her the way he did, so indecisive.
This once pure and happy young woman has changed drastically from the free spirited lover she once was, all due to disappointment and heart-ache. She once again was left alone in the cold cruel world that will eat her up and swallow her whole. She was so naïve to have believed that she was special unlike everyone else in the world. Maybe some secret angel, as light as the clouds, had swooped down and anointed her, something ever so precious. Who was she kidding? She was no different. Broken down by life. She was just now induced into the world by evil. Her precious eyes were now filled with pain and sadness, they were no longer the joyous pits of happiness that they once inhabited. Her appearance has completely altered. She now wears the clothes of the crowd to blend in, go unnoticed. Her hair now short, as she attempted to chop away the pain. She was no longer as strong with confidence and dignity she was now completely weakened by disappointment and calamity. Her radiant sun had decided to shut down, only rain, this time forever. She still appeared frail but now in a sense of tired and run down. She has given up one final time; she can’t continue to go on like this. Now she has chosen the path of secrecy, she keeps these burdens deep down in the abyss of her center. She has vowed not to speak of this because whenever she even thinks about it her vision begins to blur, water everywhere, there is not stopping or controlling it. She is now very emotional and sensitive to everything so she puts on a strong exterior and cries herself to sleep frequently, the stress continues to build as time passes.
Now when she sees him in the hall ways of life, she can’t help but feel a sense of hatred towards him. She screams inside, her heart flutters and races because she wants to tell him what he has done to her. She wants him to suffer more intense suffering than she had to endure because of him. Her inner demon curses him, with ever so cruel demands. She gets sick with the thought that he still has this power over her. Why? Why does she allow this? Why can’t she stop or control this? She can’t take this. Something must be done. He must be taught a lesson. But she can’t do it. She must rip the scab off, bare it. As much as she may refuse to admit it, the reason is but very simple. Four.